08.22.06
Posted in Programming, School, College, ALPHA, Computer Science at 2:52 pm by Nick
Time: 1 hour
Total: 1 hour
——————-
I already have homework. ::sigh:: Actually, I’m posting because I completed one of the tasks. It was an intersting refresher as I haven’t done much practical programming this crazy summer.
The first assignment was very much like the word counter we wrote back in CS I or CS II. We had to count the number of occurances of each printable character in a text file with a few other specifications relating to errors, output, etc.
Overall it was a decent way to spend an hour. I enjoy playing with STL maps, and they made this much easier than it would have been otherwise. McCormick seems to want comments on just about everything, so I think half of the code is either white space or comments.
I must admit I am a little wary posting this here. I don’t think any of the CS majors at UNI read my blog, but I don’t want to ruin their homework. Either way, if they copied it then they would all take some heavy hits on their grades.
Code -> http://ew.xidus.net/download/cs3/postlab0/
Permalink
08.21.06
Posted in School, College at 9:30 pm by Nick
So, college started today. Woot. It was as expected (rather dull), but it was nice to go roam the campus and see the teachers I’ve come to know. I’m looking forward to CS III, and I hope Computer Architecture will be interesting as well. I remember thinking to myself several times while walking to my truck after Computer Org in the winter, when it was 10 degrees (and sometimes colder) outside, at 9:15am, “wow, that was totally worth getting up at 7:30am for.” Not many classes are like that.
This week looks to be a long one. It seems I have a lot to do in one day. But thats alright, I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when I climb into bed quite exausted from the days activities.
Permalink
08.20.06
Posted in Deep Thoughts at 11:51 pm by Nick
I am sorry for missing the last one (or two?) Deep Thoughts. Moving back and what not has been crazy. I’ll try and make sure there is a new one every Sunday from now on.
–
“At what point does the price of survival outweigh the bennefits of actually surviving?”
(Question proposed by EvilPuffBall)
–
Some people do not feel a particular attachment to life, and some feel so strongly they would do anything just to live. The answer to this is very complicated, and very unique from person to person.
What could the price be? Your arm? Your money? Your kids? Your sanity? Depending on why you want to survive (or rather, what you feel you are living for) you may be willing accept life over death even if it comes with a consequence.
Now, why would one want to live? What is the bennefit? Why live? It seems what people want in life is relative peace, health, security, and happiness. Many of these come and go, which is what makes life unique.
I suppose an easy way to interpet this might be cost and effect. A great many people have killed themselves after losing their financial holdings. Some mothers lose the will to live after their child dies. Many people become depressed after losing a limb. This is obvious. What you live for is what determines the levels of life you are willing to accept. Living life without a limb is certainly more doable now than ever. If you lose your money chances are you could, eventually, work your way back to a good life.
This question was an interesting one personally for me. I wonder when my mom did finally decide that enough was enough. It was an outrageous uphill battle, and even had she ultimately won out (if you could even consider the end result a win…) it would have taken a lot of time (years) to get back to normal life. After a life of fighting, enough was, indeed, enough.
And thats a very real part of this question. Could a life in a bed, wheelchair, or otherwise being siginificantly impaired outweigh the ability to live? I’m sure it would vary, but many times death is more peaceful than a life with so many challenges and so little promise.
Now ask yourself, at what point could you let go of life? What is something that is so terrible it could stop you in your tracks? When you have that answer, consider thinking about how to effectively avoid it.
Permalink
08.10.06
Posted in General, Thoughts at 4:47 am by Nick
Edit: Links fixed. Twas in a rush and then stranded internetless for many days. And I’m lazy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow_hierarchy_of_needs
Brian recently brought this to my attention. I had previously never heard of the hierarchy (above), but it is yet another interesting subject to write about. It is one of the more optimistic psycological theories out there.
The hierarchy is relatively simple in theory. The needs towards the bottom are imparative, and once they are met a person can move on to the next set of needs. Most people are working on almost all levels simultaneously (except the top technically). Any needs that is pulled out closer to the bottom affects all above it. For example, if you cease to have access to water and food, you need to fix such a thing before you can continue with your self-esteem boosters.
All levels are basic needs except for the top. Basic needs can be met and neutralized, at which point they stop being a motivator in ones life. The top level, self-actualization and self-transcendance, is an enduring motivator. A continual search for growth, if you will.
What is self-actualization? According to Wikipedia, “Self-actualization (a term originated by Kurt Goldstein) is the instinctual need of humans to make the most of their unique abilities and to strive to be the best they can be”. Self-actualizers, according to Maslow, have the following traits:
- They embrace the facts and realities of the world (including themselves) rather than denying or avoiding them.
- They are spontaneous in their ideas and actions.
- They are creative.
- They are interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key focus in their lives.
- They feel a closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
- They have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
- They judge others without prejudice, in a way that can be termed objective.
Self-transcendance (also refered to as spiritual needs) is a bit different:
“Viktor Frankl expresses the relationship between self-actualization and self-transcendence in Man’s Search for Meaning. He writes:
- The true meaning of life is to be found in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system….Human experience is essentially self-transcendence rather than self-actualization. Self-actualization is not a possible aim at all, for the simple reason that the more a man would strive for it, the more he would miss it…. In other words, self-actualization cannot be attained if it is made an end in itself, but only as a side effect of self-transcendence. (p.175)”
Wikipedia states, “Maslow believes that we should study and cultivate
peak experiences as a way of providing a route to achieve personal growth, integration, and fulfillment. Peak experiences are unifying, and ego-transcending, bringing a sense of purpose to the individual and a sense of integration. Individuals most likely to have peak experiences are self-actualized, mature, healthy, and self-fulfilled. All individuals are capable of peak experiences. Those who do not have them somehow depress or deny them.”
I found the whole thing interesting as it was easy to compare myself from pre-junior year to now, and how everything that has happened over the last year as changed me. Rather than going through the long series of events that pretty much ripped apart the hierarchy and put it back togeather, I’ll just note that I currently feel satisfied on every level of the hierarchy. There is always room for growth, but I do not feel a lacking in any particular area, and that is wonderful. The only shaky foundation I feel I have is overall life stability; as things relating to my mothers death clear I’m sure this will get better. Let me tell you, it takes a lot to truly get to the top, but it feels good when you get there. Things are much clearer, and often simpler.
It seems that level two (the need for self-esteem) is hard to establish for many people. This is probably because a lot of it has to do with other people. If you are looking for self-esteem help, look to your friends. Also, find something you enjoy (a hobby) and pour energy into it. Work on something meaningful to you. Upon its completion you will get a large boost in self-esteem. As you work more and more people will recognize your talent and strength.
Analyze yourself. Where do you stand?
–
I’m moving back to C.F. today! I’m pretty excited to be honest. I should go pack.
Permalink
08.06.06
Posted in Deep Thoughts at 6:30 pm by Nick
Last week Lisa asked, “Should everyone try everything once?” So, whats the answer?
–
It is hard to say. In short, no. There are many damaging things that people should never try. To take the question literally, you should never try jumping off a bridge that is relatively high above the water (probably 10ft+). Also, you should never try base jumping if you have never done anything similar, especially if you don’t know how to work a parachute.
To be a little less literal, what about things like drinking, smoking, drugs, and the like? It is a personal choice. In school they teach us that “bad” drugs are bad and never to smoke. Personally I don’t see why anyone would use drugs or cigarettes in the first place, as there is no real bennefit to them. The bennefit (if it can be called that) is out weighed by the monetary cost, the mental and physical strife and strain, and the chances of being caught and prosecuted.
Drinking is more mixed. Done stupidly, it is a terrible terrible thing. Not only can you die, but you can easily cause the death of others (drinking + driving = bad). Under contained circumstances I see no reason to refute it. It seems to be benneficial and highly amusing, and somewhat relaxing. Again, under -CONTAINED- circumstances. There are certain precautions people should take, and there should always be someone who won’t drink any (or very much) so they can do the driving.
As far as other less critical things, yes, trying things is great. I went a great many years of my life eating as a kid: pizza, spaghetti, other pasta, sugar, repeat. When I eventually wandered out into the world of taste, good cooking, subtle accents, and large mixtures of fruits and vegetables I could hardly comprehend how I had been living for so long! Case in point: chinese food. If you havent tried it, go eat it. Don’t call it disgusting, unworthy, or bad tasting if you have never touched the stuff.
Trying things, even if only once, can be benneficial and it will help you grow. Sampling various professions and subjects in school will help shape your future. Sampling various clothing styles can help shape your look. Sampling various foods can help develop -your taste-. Trying different pets as a kid can help you determine not only if you want pets in the future, but also give you a small taste of what its like to be a parent. Playing various video games can determine which type you like best and what you are good at. Trying various sexual positions ::cough:: gobble gobble ::cough:: can help define your tastes sexually, boost confidence, establish your sexual idenity, and provide pleasure.
In short, avoid harmful things. There is no point in ruining your life over something so futile. On less serious matters, trying less serious things is critical. People who try fewer things are more stuck up and less willing to be flexible, but they usually know what they like. On the other handy, some people are flimsy and like to try everything. They tend to be easy going, but probably lack definition.
Find your own personal balance. I would say try at least a dozen new things every year, if not more. If its not fun, amusing, or entertaining, don’t do it again. If its even remotely harmful, don’t try it.
Permalink
08.04.06
Posted in General, Thoughts at 5:46 am by Nick
As summer winds down I find myself looking to the future quite often. What is ahead of me these coming weeks? I don’t mean to spew more about the future and change than I already have, but I can’t help but wonder and realize what is taking place.
There will inevitably be some time in everyone’s life, a definitive moment (or several), where in one instant their world is turned upside down and inside out. Everything you know, and more, is ripped from you. You are returned to the raw, basic wandering state of consciousness. It is a time when you drift through life because you are lost and without direction. This is something I have been struggling with this summer.
Such moments may be subtle or obvious, and to varying degrees depending on the individual and circumstance. If you ever sit and analyze who you are, you know you have found one. Needless to say, I’ve found several over the last year.
It is during this aimless wandering that you realize things about yourself. You may realize your true strengths, your real weaknesses, your fears, hopes, or dreams. When you are reduced to such a primitive state, you can rebuild. For better or for worse, all you can do is rebuild. And, hopefully, with all you now know you can build a better person, a stronger person.
Unfortunately I have lost myself to a large degree. Who I was… who I used to be… he only seems to come around in very rare moments as of late. I lack the focus, the will, and the ambition I once so adamantly possessed. While I have developed in many other ways, I wish to reconcile who I am now with who I used to be. I feel like I am living in another mind.
Thus, when I return to Cedar Falls (August 10th), I am sad to say I will not be participating in activities with anyone apart from a few random moments. I need to find myself. As strange as that sounds, I need my focus back. So far I have embraced the changes my life has thrown at me this summer, and perhaps I have done so with too little resilience. My ambition, my will, and my focus are lying dormant within me and I desperately wish to awaken them.
Coming to terms with myself is something only I can do, and it may take a while. Forgive me in advance for I do not wish to ignore anyone, for I truly cherish spending time with a great many of you. But for now, my time is mine, and mine alone.
—
Interestingly enough, much of what I have written about above can be seen in movies. For instance, the Dr. Mark Powell in K-PAX rethinks his entire world based off of one peculiar patient. More recently I watched V for Vendetta, in which not only did V get completely ripped down and changed, but he also helped Evey accomplish the same thing.
Permalink